is there a light in this dark world we call home
am i actually all alone
with no one to hold onto
when im afraid
do i have to walk this path
by myself
with no one beside me
to have my back
or hold my hand
will everyone i love hurt me
will i become like them
over time
jaded
broken
shattered
selfish
hateful
hated
am i alone
am i really alone
am i really all alone
will you talk to me
amd tell me why
you could never bring yourself to love me
will you take my hand
and explain to me
why after 18 years
we still dont know each other
will you kiss my lips
and make me understand
why you dont care about me
not one bit
not one little bit
i have loved you so much that i let you hurt me for years
because i was afraid to tell you that you hurt me
because knowing you hurt me might make you feel bad
i have loved you for my whole life
if i was not good enough as a small child
how could i ever be good enough for you now
you never loved me
you loved your daughter
but not me
you never liked me either
if you had
you wouldnt have asked me to be the opposite of who i was
i loved you
and now i am afraid
to tell you i spent time with my friends
cuz you look at me like im a whore
and ask me what i did
no mom
im still a virgin
do you want to judge me that badly
do you want me to be a bad influence
so you can ask me to move out
do you want to hate me
i kept the letter you wrote to me for my birthday
because thats the only time ive ever felt like you loved me
without condition
ive always been afraid
that if i did one thing
one single thing that you thought was wrong
that you would never look at me again
dad
where are you
why dont we know each other
why do i have to guess what youll do when youre mad
why dont i know
why wouldnt you read to me daddy
why did you make fun of me daddy
if i died my hair green
would you avoid me in public like you said
daddy what if i go get pregnant
i bet youd be sick of me then
maybe ill go have sex
and then come back to tell you im a whore
will you still love me then daddy
mommy
will you hate me then
this is my cry for help
if the is a god
come and find me here
im dying in the world you created
why do they hate me daddy
all i wanted to do was love them
fuck you
fuck you all
all i wanted to do was love you
but im not strong enough
i cant breathe
i forgot how to breathe
is anyone out there
does anyone hear me
am i alone
am i really alone
im all alone
im alone
im alone

k.g.

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